The question understandably offends some. Yet it has to be asked and answered
so that we can better understand the kinds of relationships abusers and
victims can have.
A new, controversial memoir by author Margaux Fragoso shocks many readers
with its frank admission of affection and attraction for the pedophile
whose life was intertwined with hers for 15 years.
The writer doesn't dismiss and condemn the 51-year-old carpenter she
met at a New Jersey swimming pool when she was just seven.
Her young life was a complicated mess, according to a review and description
of the book from ABC News. Fragoso's mother was neurotic and unstable;
her father an emotionally abusive boozer.
The man she gives the name Peter Curran seduced the girl with charm and
affection, games, and clever, childlike manipulations of her emotions and body.
Fragoso, now 31 years old, married and mother to a daughter, says she wrote
the book to help people understand the secret world of
molestation and manipulations.
Though Fragoso declined an interview with ABC, the director of the Crimes
Against Children Research Center said Fragoso's abuser was "good
at normalizing what was happening and bringing the child along."
Many abusers, he said, lure the child into intimacy, but "he loses
the child pretty quick once the sex starts." The child quickly "feels
trapped and wants to get out," he said.
Not so with Fragoso and her molester.
"I don't think it's outlandish to see that some victims have
a tremendous level of love and affection and allegiance to their abusers,"
said the expert on abuse.
In her book, Fragoso describes the relationship with the man she calls
Curran as a "drug high." [He] can make the child's world
... ecstatic somehow."
None of that excuses the man's behavior, of course, but it does help
us understand the complications of these kinds of relationships.
We'll have more on the subject in our next post.
Resource: ABC News:
"'Tiger, Tiger' Author Shocks With Memoir of Affair With Pedophile": March 9, 2011